Monthly Archives: March 2004

It was night time.  I was sitting in the hospital waiting room waiting for my name to be called.  I was there to see a surgeon to find out if I really needed a biopsy.  David was there with me.  I owned a laptop or something because I was reading email.  It was a very long wait.  Anna was there.. didn’t see her before.. so I started to play with her.. she is getting hungry and tired.. still no doctor.  I ask the nurse.  She tells me not to leave because this is way too important. 

Morning comes.  Angel shows up at the hospital.. I am still waiting.. I tell Angel to take Anna home.  So he takes her outside.  I am talking to her through the big window..waving it her.. she is all smiles.. but doens’t want to leave me.. the room starts moving away.. as if the hospital is on wheels or something.. Anna starts to panic and chases me.  Her foot gets caught underneath the room.. both feet are crushed.. deformed.. she is screaming.. I run outside and Angel puts her in my arms.. I am freaking out.  I start running around.. looking for the emergency room.. Someone tells me it is around the back of the hospital.. so I run over there.. it looks like a garage.. people are sitting and chatting.. I am yelling.. what kind of a hospital is this??  Where is the ER.. I run to another part of the hospital.. the nurse tells me there is no ER at that hospital.. “What!!”  Anna is still screaming in my arms.. her feet look horrible.. The nurse informs me the nearest ER is like an hour away.. I start bawling.. I am hysterical..

I am laying in bed crying.. Angel tries to wake me up.. I wake .. still crying.. can’t stop sobbing.. can’t talk.. all I keep saying is .. “It was a dream.. It was a dream.” It seemed too real to be a dream.. it felt real..  Anna is next to me in bed.. Angel checks her feet.. (yes he really did too).. she is fine.. I put her back on her mattress and Angel cuddles with me.. It was just a dream..



Oops.. forgot I wanted to share a pic taken last night..

Not bad for an almost 3yr old.  This is the first time she has ever tried to put on lipstick.

Good Morning Xanga Land!

Let’s see.. I guess I will start with Friday.  What a day.  I was completely stressed and couldn’t wait to arrive at Steph’s for a Spa Party.  We all got a pedicure and a facial.  It was awesome!  I really needed to relax and have a good time.  Annaleah spent the night at Karen’s so I didn’t need to worry about her.  I especially felt good after hearing from Steph & Mia that my face looked great.  They were complaining about theirs.  Then when Steph mentioned to Mia that I was older than them.. she didn’t believe it.  I am 35.. 5 years older.. Mia said I looked 26!  Whoo hoo.. talk about feeling good. 

Hubby showed up at the party and told me he had received a call from work.  It looks like we can breathe again.  They are getting him another job in the company.  So now we just wait to find out which one.. Talk about relief! 

Saturday I crashed.   I was just miserable all day.  I think I had been holding up this strong front all week long that my emotions just went crazy.  I was very emotional and desperately needed to talk to someone.  Angel and I went out for breakfast in the morning.. but I really couldn’t talk to him about how I felt.  I didn’t want him to feel bad.  I managed to chat with my cousin, Lisa, for about 1/2 hour.. which always makes me feel better.  I finally walked down to pick up Anna around 3:00pm.  While I was there I chatted with Karen for a while… which also helped.  From there Angel and I went to the church to do a quick cleaning and then grabbed McDonalds and headed home. 

Why is it, when I am away from Anna for any amount of time, it seems like she has gone through a major growth spurt??  She just seemed so much older.  Even in church yesterday.  I can’t believe my baby is turning 3! 

Ok.. now my thoughts have turned into this huge blob.. I am not feeling too well today.  I am going to try and start my morning routine.  Thank you all for listening to my ramblings..

This morning Anna decided she wanted to eat tuna fish in an ice cream dish for breakfast.. ?!?!  Ok..well I guess I should be happy she is eating something.. lol


This book below is one that I dug out of my huge collection.  My former pastor’s wife did a study on this book.. and I wasn’t interested at the time because I was not married.  I was a single mom and never planned on getting married..


You can be the Wife of a Happy Husband

by Darien B. Cooper



    I thought I had a good marriage, but as I look back now, I realize I simply had a good man.  For 12 year I tried to change DeWitt – the way he did things or didn’t do them, or the way he related to me. 

   I tried direct approaches and subtle ones.  I’d cry when he forgot my birthday or our anniversary.  I wondered why he wouldn’t come and put his arms around me and tell me he was sorry and loved me.  But it seemed as if the more I cried, the less attention he gave me.

    One day I said, “DeWitt, I’ve been watching the Joneses next door.  Mr. Jones is so thoughtful.  He brings his wife candy and flowers.  He always kisses her affectionately at the door when he comes home from work.  I wonder why you don’t do that?”

    “Because I don’t know her that well,” he responded.

    “I’d listen to what he’d tell me when he came home from work, and give him advice as to what he should or should not have said or done.  I couldn’t understand why he didn’t seem to appreciate my advice and stopped sharing with me. 

    Then about six years ago, after an intensive study of the Bible, I saw that God had definite solutions to life’s problmes.  And a detailed outline of how a successful marriage should be maintained.  I realized that instead of helping DeWitt, I was crushing him – destroying his masculinity.  I said, “OK, God, I’m ready for You to show me how to be the kind of wife I should be.”

A comment she wrote has meaning to me also.. “But changes take time, so be patient and let God do the changing.  Rely on Him to build or rebuild your marriage.  “Except the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it” (Psalm 127:1)

Hello Everyone!  Well, once again I think I accomplished alot yesterday.. and the pain after proved it.  I managed to scrub both bathrooms, clean Anna’s room, scrub kitchen floor, keep table, counter and sink clean, sweep wood floors, re-arrange some stuff in the dining area, threw out alot of trash, hosted a La Leche playdate and had Steph and son stay for lunch, seperate and freeze 10 pounds of ground beef, put away a box of clothes that were sent to Anna and have been sitting there, played a color game with Anna, played Cooties, and Anna helped me make and decorate 24 cupcakes.. (half with christmas jimmys and green frosting and the other half with chocolate chips and chocolate frosting.. -wanted it to appeal to both males in the, and I even had time to work on a 2 blinkies that I wanted to finish and an animated buddy list icon.


I was tired.. matter of fact .. even though I did clean up the cupcake mess.. I just finished cleaning the frosting mess this am.. I justs couldn’t do anymore last night..


Oh.. and it ended so sweetly.. My independant Anna.. who goes to sleep with her cup and blankie while watching tv.. doesn’t like to cuddle with me while trying to sleep.. Well, last night.. she layed down with her supplies.. lol.. but didn’t ask for the tv.. so I didn’t turn it on.  But it was so quiet .. so I started singing praise songs.. Anna climbed on my lap and fell asleep while listening to me.. I was in heaven..  I could not have asked for a better day..


So.. what will happen today.. my main goal is to keep up with the house.. I want it to stay clean.. I do have laundry to do and want to clean out the bottom cupboards in my kitchen.. Also want to take a nice long bath tonight.. I am going to a spa party tomorrow night.  I have arranged for a babysitter.. overnight.  I wanted Angel to take advantage of some alone time for himself.. whether it be with a friend or by himself.  He could really use a break from a stressful week.


**Oh yes.. Update on the Santino’s.. brother Gary is now home in the states.. him and his eldest daughter. (She is about 14).. He is seeking medical attention right now.  His wife, Lana, and the other 4 girls will be arriving on Friday.  PTL!  Pray that they have a safe trip and that Bro. Gary will get the help his needs.  Thank you so much for all your prayers!

My day went amazingly well.. I think I got alot of stuff accomplished today.. I feel pretty good.


Continue to pray for Gary Santino.  He is now eating and his head doesn’t hurt as much.  They were going to attempt to take him to Bucharesti today.  Lana asked for prayer that his body can fight the bacteria and that the Cat Scan will come out ok.  The doctor believes he may have lyme disease.. (I thought you could only get that here.. but since he hasn’t been in the states for about 2 years.. I don’t know.. hmm).


thanks again for all your prayers!!  God is Great!


Question of the Day:


What kind of music do you like to listen to?  What helps you relax?

Lately I have been listening to alot of my WOW Praise CD.  But a few of my faves are…


What if I Stumble? – DC Talk

What if I stumble, what if I fall…
Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simly serenade for things I must afford

You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
For holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause I see the truth in their eyes
Though the sky is falling…
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling…

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I cannot compose
The fear that lives within me or rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow raod you’ve carved
Why do I dread my trespasses
Will leave a deadly scar?

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I’m feeling…

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that
You’re up against a wall, it’s about to fall
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that
You’re up against a wall, it’s about to fall
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that

I hear you whispering my name
You say…
My love for you will never change
Never change…
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue?
When my walk becomes a crawl
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?

You are my comfort and my God
These two are songs I learned when I first found Christ at the age of 15

O Lord, your beautiful
Your face is all I see
And when your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me


Beautiful, Beautiful
Jesus is Beautiful
Jesus makes Beautiful
Things of my life
Carefully, Touching me
Causing my eyes to see
Jesus makes Beautiful
Things of my Life

I must start off saying Thank You to all of you that are praying for Bro. Gary!

Today was quite a busy day.. actually.. it has been for a few days now.  We went to church today and taught our Junior Class.  Annaleah did great and didn’t mind being in the nursery or Junior Church.. so that was a blessing.  I also managed to stay awake during the entire service.. (oh.. except I almost lost it there during  But wow!  I have been struggling with this issue for so, it felt strange to actually stay awake.. I can also breathe through my nose again.. amazing.. all these smells are starting to drive me up a wall.. lol.. It has been too long..  It could be that all these meds (did I mention before how much I hate meds) are actually working for me??  Wow..

After church, David wanted to take us out for Pizza Hut.. He had a card someone gave it.. There was only 10.00 on the card so hubby pitched in.  It felt really good to have us all sit together and actually be nice.. lol.. Most of the time I am walking on eggshells around David.. because I just don’t know how he is going to react.. and then I react and the next thing you know he is ‘hating me’ once again.. Ohh.. boy.. teen years.. they are definately toucher than toddler years.. I know cause I am dealing with both…. and I am getting worn out!

After church and pizza, my darling daughter wanted to make Pasta.. homemade Pasta.. oh boy.. we only had 2 hours to leave for church again and her she is begging me.. “Please Mommy, we make Pasta??”.. So guess how I spent my time at home today..

Can’t eat it yet.. we have to cook it first..

Is that good?

Should be.. she ate two bowls of this stuff.. lol

Well, it is late and I need to get ready for bed.. Catch you all later..

Ladies, I have a prayer request for you.. I just received this in my email from my former pastor..


I just received word from Lana Santino
that her husband Gary is gravely ill. They are Missionaries in
Constanta, Romania. Gary is too ill to travel. He is on intravenous
medication, but they have not discovered what is wrong with him. He
is at home. We are praying for him to get well enough so that he can
get to a good medical treatment facilty and find out what the problem


I have known Gary and Lana for 16 years.. They were newly married when I met them.. Gary used to be my brothers youth leader at church.. They are wonderful people.. They went into the mission field to Romania sometime after their first daughter was born.  They have a website..  

please keep them in prayer. 


Thank you..

Karen Hellier

Freelance Writer, Coupon Lady, eBay Entrepreneur: Helping You Save Money and Work From Home

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