what do I feel?  It is a mixture of emotions..
 
Not to long ago it was joy,
a precious bundle was delivered
doesn’t matter the circumstances
it is precious, innocent and perfect
 
I thought all was well.
I wanted to do more
I feel we did alot in the past 
however, the last 10 months our hands were tied
there was conflict, confusions, accusations
I did my best to stay out of it
Gave people space
but wanted them to know I was there
quietly, caring and praying
 
recently, finances tied hands tighter
situations kept us close to home
missing my gram I have not seen in what seems to be forever
but we made a choice
we visited the precious bundle
hoped that would show some support
hoped that even though finances were tight for now
presence was worth more
praying that someday soon we could be of more help
hoping we could go again soon with knitted and crocheted treasures
that were made with love
 
however, no matter the attempt
we were knocked down
unexpectantly
over something that had nothing to do with us
I think,
yet blamed for so much
and rejected
turned away
slapped
no explanations
nothing
 
so I sit here sad, confused and slightly angry
cause words were said
words meant to hurt
words that can not be erased or forgotten
so easily
 
I guess all I can do is sit quietly
and pray
and wait
maybe things will change
as I have no control over the situations
or even the persons involved
all I can do is sit patiently

and see what the Lord has in store through all of this. 

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