Angel spent the day yesterday trying to get everything to say in place, he taped up the lights, played with the hood a bit to get it to stay closed, and wired up the front fender..
david came over
and we all went out to eat at a Thai Restaurant, and then went to Walmart.. we had to stay close by to home.. which was fine. The funny thing was anna seemed so excited to be out and about.. exclaiming how all the Christmas stuff was beautiful and being overly excited.. of course it was the first she got to see christmas stuff this year.. but it was fun to watch her.
the trees there were too expensive .. the cheapest was 70.00! There was just no way.. so yes I was feeling a bit down. I knew we couldn’t go driving all the way to home depot for a real tree.. so I tried to contain my disappointment.
As we were leaving we noticed on the other side of the building walmart had real trees.. 25.00.. angel didn’t want to go through the store so he said maybe tomorrow.. I mentioned there is a door and register on that side.. so he and avid went to check it out..
Ok.. woman’s hormones or something.. David came back carrying a tree.. and tears started flowing.. angel looked at me and said .. why so emotional over a tree.. and I had no clue..
but we have a tree! now we have to find of our other things.. I know I have stockings, nativity scene and a skirt somewhere.. and lights.. we realized we no longer had the wreath.. but hey.. that is ok..
so .. why do I have so much emotions over a 4.5 foot tree???
angel ok’ed us taking a break from school.. We went over our favorite cookie recipes.. so I have about 5 to do instead of 10! yep.. I usually do about 10 every year..lol. Oh, we did discover a new problem while driving.. the dashboard lights won’t work now.. so praying angel will be able to figure out what needs to be done with that and the hood and fender.. I know the hood is not safe so we will not be going to RI anytime soon.
Thank you all for your prayers..
I am ok.. Angel did re-order from another vendor.. it is supposed to be here sometime next week.
I was thinking last night..It was really hard to sleep..
I could always take anna’s little tree and set it up in the living room (she may or may not be happy about that since it is her winter nightlight in her room. I could wrap gifts with newspapers, packing paper and maybe some fabric..
I could maybe figure out the bare minimim for cookies (anna likes chocolate chips, angel oatmeal raisens).. but the ones they like are normal everyday cookies.. I love to make the reeses brownies, pb kisses, chocolate crinkles, but that will be impossible with angel on a moped and me out of most of the basic ingredients.. but I do want fudge.. so maybe I can splurge and make fudge and the two angel and anna like..
Ethan – I can buy his gift after christmas.. I am sure bj’s doesn’t have what I wanted to give him anymore anyways.. and he is young enough not to realize it..
Christmas dinner.. just scratch that since it is just us anyways.. (originally I planned lasagna but that is too much ingredients needed).. Yes, I realize he could have the van next week.. but I am pretty negative in these situations and already mentioned to angel that I was betting the part would get lost in the mail and it would be the only part the vendor had.. (yep.. I can get that bad..)
last night as I laid in bed I just thought that I was being totally childish and selfish. My flesh is so weak when it comes to this. I have already apologized to angel which he thinks is unnecessary.. but I have made the burden bigger for him and I do not wish to do that. I realize this is not the end of the world.. we have alot to be thankful for..
You know, I am starting to realize God is definately testing me here.. I have always had it pretty easy since meeting Angel.. I have never had to worry about this stuff.. Before Angel I panicked all the time.. and while I am amazed at how I am able to handle some situations with so much ease..I guess this is an area I still have major problems with.. I remember back when david was 3 ( I think ).. I had gone to school for bookkeeping and was currently on welfare.. I had no money for christmas.. I panicked and signed him up for one of those programs where someone adopted him for christmas.. and a week before Christmas, I got a 300.00 check from the school because they were overpaid.. well thinking he probably wouldn’t get much from the person who ‘adopted’ him.. I went and blew the money on his christmas.. then when the ‘adopted’ gifts came .. they came in like 3 large construction type bags!! David had tons of stuff.. and I was laid wiht a heavy heavy guilt.. I felt as though I had taken gifts from a needy child or family.. .. if only I had trusted the Lord.. I could have a. provided gifts myseslf or b. used the school money for something else that was important.. (yes I was nuts to spend 300.00 on him!)
I really need to sit back and truly trust in Him!
Thank you all for your prayers and hugs!
to all of you that commented.. I thank you so much! Thank you for being my online friends!
Ok.. so I don’t like to be negative here.. but I can’t think of the positives right now.. I am upset.. truly upset..
Angel ordered a part to the van last week.. very small part.. local places don’t have it .. he asked for quick delivery I guess.. not overnighter though.. would be dumb on a 7.00 part..
we were patient
I tried not to complain
Today angel calls
the order was cancelled because they don’t have the part
seriously.. are you kidding me?
so he has to re-order the same part from anohter site.. that is charging way more and we get the priviledge of waiting longer
what is it.. december 12th..
- haven’t done serious grocery shopping in over a month
- we have no tree
- have no gift for ethan
- my last hearing aid battery is in my ear.. (should last 3 days)
- we are living on rice and bread and whatever is in our cupboards..
- I have seasonal depression and I am ready to freak!
- I miss my parents
- I want to see my mom is ok.. (she had an accident a few weeks ago requiring stitches and staples in her head)
- I want to see my neices
- I want to get out of here
- we have paid anotnher month of ballet that Anna has missed about 5 weeks of
- David is sick with no meds and we can’t even go bring him meds
- and all this rain prevents angel from even driving his moped..
ok.. were is the good in this.. please share me the good.. I am guessing you would say..
- we have food
- we are healthy
- we have heat
anything else?? cause man this doesn’t feel like enough at the moment..
ok.. venting done..
thanks for listening if you got this far..
Mom, dad.. don’t worry.. We will be fine.. just needed to vent somewhere..
gonna go hug ethan now.. I need his love, cuddles,. kisses and giggles.. I think he is in the sharing mood..
oh wait.. he stinks.. guess I need to change his diaper first.. then get some love..
- Between my yahoo groups, emails, and daily life, it is really hard to blog lately..
- we have snow
- still no van
- someone offered us a ride to church yesterday
- and we went! yay!
- lights came in for van
- window is fixed
- now just need one more part
- maybe wednesday it will be here
- anna’s gifts have all arrived!
- whoo hoo
- just have ethan to buy for now
- neices done
- a small and simple christmas this year
- no decorations yet
- except the window that we painted
- working on a crocheted garland right now
- ok.. must get things done here
- mondays starting point is always rough
- have a great Monday everyone!
It’s been a relatively quiet holiday. It started off with Ethan for a bit on Wednesday, which is always a joy!
thursday, it was just to be us.. and I missed my mom and dad this year, big time. I missed not seeing jade and kate on their birthday.. it was really tough. but I decided I was going to still have a good dinner for us.. Just, Angel, Anna and I..
While I was busy cooking, David called, said he had a ride and wondered if he could come over.. well, Hello! Of course! It was awesome to have David here for a few days.. every mom knows that no matter what.. you want your children to be near you for the holidays!! So we had a nice quiet, chatting time.. I think I have been caught up with everything from the last month.. Or at least everything he was wanting to share..
Saturday, Ethan came again.. He is just such a sweet sweet boy.. he is getting into things lately though.. but I just can’t help but laugh and gently redirect.. which totally works for him.. he listens to me so well. However, still need to keep an eye on the sneaky boy.. I managed to get some pics of him, Anna and David..
David broke his glasses.. and can’t see well.. so he kept squinting when the flash went off..and of course Ethan, was more interested in my water bottle than pictures..
Today Anna and I have been painting our front windows..